With the high penetration of renewable energy and the continuous improvement of new power system architectures, electric vehicles can serve as both controllable loads and distributed power sources, with excellent frequency regulation characteristics. Therefore, this paper proposes an auxiliary frequency regulation strategy for charging and exchanging power stations that is combined with the expectations of vehicle owners. First, an evaluation model for the charging/discharging capacity of electric vehicles is established based on the expectations of vehicle owners, such as the entry/exit time, expected state of charge, and charging/discharging limitations. Secondly, a frequency modulation model for dual layer control of electric vehicles is established by combining the charging/discharging capacity of electric vehicles with the active power-frequency characteristic curve. Finally, considering the needs of both the power grid and vehicle owner sides, a strategy is proposed that makes charging and swapping power stations participate in the power grid frequency regulation. Simulation results show that the proposed control strategy can effectively adjust the frequency of the power grid, and improve its safe and stable operation and flexibility while meeting the expectations of vehicle owners and the limitations of the electric vehicle itself.